


Cacophony

by SleepySappho



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Fireworks, Fourth of July, Gay, Human Catra (She-Ra), Hurt/Comfort, Latina Catra, No Sex, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, Roommates, Sleeping Together, Subtle Pining, Triggers, it's only implied but that's what I was thinking, the fourth of July is a terrible holiday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25082374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepySappho/pseuds/SleepySappho
Summary: Catra hates the Fourth of July.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 225





	Cacophony

Catra hates the Fourth of July.

It's gaudy, it's obnoxious, it's always hot and humid and horrible and frankly she doesn't have any reason to celebrate a country that's made its opinion on people like her  _ pretty damn clear. _

But mostly, it's  _ loud. _

Catra goes to bed early, takes some antihistamines, even tried some of that "calming tea" Scorpia gave her, but apparently that was all a gigantic waste of time because three hours later she's sandwiched her head between two pillows and screwing her eyes shut, trying to focus on anything and everything other than the sounds banging against her window.

It's  _ stupid _ really. It's not like the sounds even remind her of anything specific it's just. Loud. And sharp, and sudden, and unpredictable. It makes her think about footsteps coming up the stairs, fists leaving dents in drywall, and—

Another explosion and she bites down on her hand, but not fast enough to muffle her panicked cry.  _ Shit _ . She can only hope her roommate was already asleep. She could  _ not _ deal with Adora right now.

And of course, as if the thought summoned her, Catra's roommate knocked gently on the door.

"Catra? Are you okay?"

_ Ugh. _ Stupid, selfless,  _ meddling _ Adora. "I'm fine. Go to bed."

A long pause. "Are you sure? I thought I heard—"

"I don't care what you  _ thought _ you heard, I'm  _ fi— _ " another explosion, this one closer, and Catra's voice cuts off in a strangled yelp. 

_ No, no no no. This can't happen. Adora can't see me like this. _

It's too late. Adora's already opened the door and is pulling the blankets down, away from Catra's face, her hand cupping Catra's cheek gently. "It's okay."

Catra almost laughs at that one because it is so,  _ so _ not okay. Her dumb perfect star athlete roommate just walked in on her as a pathetic crying mess and now she  _ knows _ , there's no way she doesn't, Catra can practically  _ feel _ her eyes tracing the scars along her back and thighs even through the layers of sheets and clothing, she is completely defenseless and there is nowhere to hide and Adora could reach into her chest and crush her beating heart with a single hand and maybe she  _ should _ , God, maybe it would be better for everyone if Catra had never limped her way out of that foster home as a sick, broken-down imitation of a person, good for nothing but dragging 18 years of trauma behind her like ball and chain, spreading her pain to everyone she meets, dragging them down with her just like  _ She _ always said—

"Catra!" Adora's voice brings her back a little bit, back to her narrow twin bed in a different state in a different city in her college dorm with a lock on the door and nobody else inside but Adora. Perfect, beautiful Adora who is looking down at her like she's  _ scared _ , because of course Catra has to ruin her, too.

"Catra…" Adora repeats, stroking her thumb along Catra's cheek, wiping at tears she hadn't even realized she'd been crying. "Is… is it the fireworks? They kinda bother me too, I thought…" she trails off uncertainly, looking away.

"It's stupid," Catra mutters into the pillow. "It's fucking stupid. I shouldn't let them bother me, it's just that they're- they- I can't—" Adora stops her.

"You don't have to justify yourself to me."

And  _ that _ sets Catra crying again because Adora is being so  _ kind _ and she doesn't deserve it, doesn't deserve to know this woman who has been in her life for barely a year and still insists on caring about her more than she's ever cared about herself, and despite how horrible she must look right now, nose running and voice broken with hideous, hacking sobs, Adora doesn't leave. She doesn't turn away. She  _ stays, _ sitting on the side of Catra's bed and stroking her hair, murmuring softly until there's no more tears left and Catra feels utterly, completely hollow. 

"Do you want to sleep with me tonight?" Adora asks and God must have a funny sense of humor pulling out that line from Catra's deepest fantasies at a moment like  _ this. _

Catra turns away, gaze fixed on the wall, away from Adora. "I'm fine. Don't- don't worry about me, princess."

Adora hums, noncommittally, then says, "Well I'm not. And I thought… it would help me out a lot if you would."

Catra's pretty sure that Adora is just making up an excuse to preserve her pride but right now she can't bring herself to care. Slowly, she rolls back over to see Adora crouching down by the bedside, bright eyes level with Catra's face and  _ wow. _

_ How the hell does she look this good at one in the goddamn morning? _

"Fine, I guess," Catra says shakily. "If you can't sleep alone I guess I can help you out. But this is  _ not _ because I like you."

Adora smiles and for a brief moment Catra thinks this humiliation was all worth it. "Thank you, Catra. Now come on, let's go to my room. The walls are a bit thicker in there, it should be quieter." 

Catra takes her hand and lets Adora lead her across their living room, stopping for a glass of water, and into Adora's bedroom. She turns off the light and pulls Catra down into bed with her, wrapping her arms around Catra's waist and pulling her in close to her chest. This has the unfortunate side effect of leaving Catra to try and sleep with her face inches away from Adora's breasts, which probably isn't going to help her sleep at all but, whatever. She isn't complaining.

"Catra, I…" Adora whispers, hesitating. "I don't know what's happened to you, and I know it's none of my business but… I want you to feel safe with me. If there's ever, anything I can do to help you feel that way… I'll do it for you. I promise."

"Just… this is good, princess. We can keep doing this." 

Catra can feel Adora's mouth curving into a smile where it's pressing against her scalp. "Goodnight, Catra."

"Goodnight, Adora." Catra lets her eyes slowly close, relaxing into her roommate's embrace. She can still hear the faint pops of explosions outside the window, but they seem somehow quiet compared to the steady sound of Adora's breath, Adora's heartbeat. Maybe Adora was right about the walls in her room being thicker.

Or maybe Catra is in a lot more trouble here than she thought. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> What can I say fireworks are keeping me awake and I decided to channel my anxiety into catradora
> 
> I know I promised some smut last fic I posted but this is like. Just hurt/comfort and some more yearning. I'm stuck on yearning mode it seems.


End file.
